


Crossfeed

by nh8343



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Minor Character Death, Post-Apocalypse, Zombies, Zombies Run!AU, but it also turned out pretty soft, minor violence/gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 14:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15909951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nh8343/pseuds/nh8343
Summary: It will always be Jongdae’s voice crackling through the static that brings Baekhyun home. (Zombies Run!AU)





	Crossfeed

**Author's Note:**

> I cut this one a bit close between writer’s block, overthinking my research on the lore, and the three anons who asked to duel me to the death, but it’s finally done! This is very different from what/how I usually write, so hopefully it’s to everyone’s liking. Thanks, Prompter, for giving me such a fun challenge. Enjoy! [Prompt #B54]

 

 

  
  
“So, you hear anything about the new Runner?”

 

Jongdae can see Chanyeol leaning against the doorway, angling himself so that he’s not technically in the room, not technically trespassing where only Operators are allowed. Some days, Minseok will turn around in his chair and humor the other man with an answer. Today is not one of those days.

 

“I don’t know, Yeol. Did you hear anything about the last Sorter who slacked on the job?”

 

“Let’s be honest. Until they need me to get ready for today’s run, I’m nothing more than glorified eye-candy. I stand around re-organizing inventory that’s already been recorded and looking handsome.”

 

“Those sound like the words of someone who’s not a very good Sorter.”

 

“Who pissed in your...Jongdae, what about you?” Chanyeol tries, changing tactics. “Anything?”

 

Jongdae does turn around in his chair, but that doesn’t mean he’s about to let the other man off easy. He gives Chanyeol a sunny smile and tells him, “Maybe I did. But even if that was true, I couldn’t tell you. It’d be classified.”

 

A quick glance toward the other console shows Minseok sending him a conspiratorial wink. Jongdae almost, _almost_ manages to keep his laughter contained, but the effort must show on his face. Chanyeol’s eyes immediately narrow before a knowing grin takes over his face.

 

“So both of you _do_ know something! What’s so bad about him...her?”

 

“Him,” Jongdae at least discloses.

 

“Now was that so hard? Anyway. What’s so bad about him that you don’t want to tell me? He’s part octopus? Likes pineapple on pizza? Was the reason Jongdae’s last Runner retired? I always figured that was just because of Jongdae and his pep talks.”

 

“Wow, suddenly I’m thinking reporting you for being down here is sounding like a much better idea.”

 

“Technically, I’m not in the room.”

 

Jongdae raises an eyebrow. “And you really think you can win Junmyeon over with that argument?”

 

“Fine. But I’m serious, you two, can you just━?

 

“Yeol, calm down,” Minseok interrupts him, finally turning around in earnest. “You’ll give yourself a heart attack. Truth is, we don’t know much. He recently graduated out of the training program with excellent marks, he’s well-liked by his peers, and that’s it. We just wanted to see how riled up you’d get.”

 

“Surprise,” Jongdae adds on, fingers forming into jazz hands despite himself.

 

Chanyeol takes a very deep breath.

 

“One day,” he tells them, “on my orders, a Runner is going to bring back a plastic hammer. I’m going to take that hammer, sit you both down at a table, and hit you over the head while you write out apologies for every time you’ve shortened my lifespan.”

 

Minseok’s lips twitch. “In that case, I guess you’d better head topside and make sure you’ve inventoried enough paper.”

 

“I hope both of your consoles short-circuit and leave your hair standing on end for _weeks_.”

 

“Love you, too!” Jongdae calls, but Chanyeol is already out of sight, seeming to have realized that yes, maybe he’d been away from his post for too long, after all.

 

“Well played,” Minseok says. “In all seriousness, are you ready for today? Changing Runners isn’t a small thing.”

 

“I’ll adjust. I’m just glad Jongin made it to retirement. He did his time, and now he gets to spend the rest of his life living like a king.”

 

“While we’re still stuck here as Operators for the next ten years.”

 

“Oh, stop. You love it.”

 

Minseok doesn’t answer, but his smile gives him away. “Headphones on, Jongdae. Run’s about to start. Good luck.”

 

“Same to you.”

 

Jongdae slips the headphones over his ears, pulling up the map overlay on his screen. The weather around the Polaris township is clear and mild today, the perfect conditions for a run. A slight breeze from the northeast tells him how to keep this new Runner positioned downwind from any common zombie spots. And as for the route━

 

“ _And...there we go. This thing working?”_

 

Ah. Time to get a feel for the new guy.

 

“That depends. Who were you hoping to reach?”

 

“ _Ideally, someone who can steal that ping-pong table Jongin got to keep from his retirement party, but I suppose someone to copilot today’s outing would also work. Am I at the right place?”_

 

Jongdae is already thanking his lucky stars. These next few years are going to be good ones.

 

“I’m no help with the first, but I’ve heard I have somewhat of a knack for the second. Kim Jongdae. Nice to meet you, Newbie.”

 

_“Byun Baekhyun, at your service. You mind waiting ‘till at least my second day to lead me into any zoms?”_

 

“What, you’d turn down a good old-fashioned challenge?”

 

Laughter crackles through the line. “ _Like I said, maybe day two. If you promise to keep me away from the zoms, I promise to limit myself to three bad jokes per run. Two, if I get a break halfway through. That sound like a deal to you, Jongdae?”_

 

“I’ll think about it.”

 

He’s still smiling. Minseok is never going to let him hear the end of it, most likely, but it’s worth it. Jongdae doesn’t mind acting a bit like a fool if it means runs will be this much more enjoyable.

 

_“Now that we’ve got that settled...are we ready to go?”_

 

“Not yet.”

 

Here’s the real test. Nothing will happen if Baekhyun fails it, of course; he’s already tied to this position until his term runs out in five years’ time or he doesn’t make it back. But it will say a lot about how this dynamic will work if he’ll just…

 

“There’s one more thing I always have my Runners do before they start,” Jongdae continues. “Minseok refuses to do the same, but trust me on this. Close your eyes and take a deep breath, empty your mind of everything but my voice. You got that?”

 

“ _On it, Boss_.”

 

“Just Jongdae is fine, Newbie. You don’t need to impress anyone now that you’ve made it.”

 

“ _Noted. On it, Jongdae._ ”

 

“Good. I want you to visualize an anchor. Drop it from your chest past your feet, and tether it to the spot you’re standing on. No matter where you go or how far you run, you’re attached to this anchor. You can always find your way back home in one piece. If you ever feel lost, remember the feeling of your center.” He allows a long moment for his instructions to sink in. “Ready to go?”

 

“ _Definitely, now. Thanks for that. Sehun is giving me looks, so I think he’s pretty jealous of your life coaching._ ”

 

“Tell him I charge by the hour,” Jongdae tells him, but it’s more of a reflex than anything. He’s preoccupied with the wave of relief rolling through his body, putting his mind at ease. Baekhyun hadn’t questioned his methods for a second. And the visualization itself hadn’t been a front; Jongdae has found it to be helpful time and time again for those under his charge. This is going really, really well.

 

“Can you turn your tracker on?” Jongdae is dialed back in now, all his focus on what’s next. “Chanyeol should have given you one to clip onto your other ear.”

 

“ _Sure thing. Switching it on right now._ ”

 

“Perfect. One moment, and...there. You’re booted into the system. Ready to get this show on the road?”

 

“ _Aye, aye, Cap━ uh...Jongdae.”_

 

And so it begins.

 

☢

 

Two hours and a winding path through one of Polaris’s nearest ruins later, the day’s run wraps up without a hitch. Baekhyun follows instructions to a T while still giving plenty of feedback about the area, and Jongdae finds that the other man can indeed match him word for word, snark for snark. When Jongdae finally signs off and removes his headphones, Minseok is already turning toward him with curiosity written all over his face.

 

“Well?” he asks. “First day thoughts?”

 

“Honestly? I almost wish Jongin had been able to retire sooner.”

 

Minseok lets out a whistle as he gets up from the chair. “Damn, now that’s just cold. Who are you and what have you done with Jongdae?”

 

“Hear me out!” Jongdae gets up just so he can shove Minseok for that comment, following him out the door. “Jongin was excellent at taking orders, and to this day his stamina was the best we’ve ever had in a Runner. But something about Baekhyun really clicked with me, you know? I’m looking forward to sharpening his skills.”

 

The smile on Minseok’s face is a genuine one. “I’m really happy for you, Dae,” he says. “Just don’t actually tell the Newbie that or he’ll start slacking. You’ve got to make him work a bit harder for compliments.”

 

“You warn me about this all the time, and yet it never seems to be a problem. Some of us actually like to be _nice_ to our Runners.”

 

“Uh huh. Get up those stairs and let’s go meet your charge, you big softie.”

 

Sunlight streams through the doorway as Jongdae swings it open, a stark contrast to the artificial glow they’d adjusted to in Operations. It takes Jongdae a few blinks to adjust. When the world comes back into focus, he can see two figures standing by the Storage warehouse, handing over various items to an eager Chanyeol.

 

Sehun seems to have somehow gotten taller than the last time Jongdae saw him, even towering over the lanky giant of a Sorter himself. And at his side, a much shorter ( _more normal!_ Jongdae’s brain protests) man is standing, one who Jongdae can only assume to be━

 

“Oh, Baekhyun, your Operator’s here!” Chanyeol announces, noticing their approach. “And Minseok, too, but I know who you’re most excited to meet.”

 

Baekhyun turns around to greet Jongdae with a warm smile. And Jongdae just. Just.

 

He can’t really remember how to do much of anything for a moment, because that smile is frankly dazzling and how had Minseok not heard that Byun Baekhyun was this handsome? He hasn’t been this flustered since that mid-run power outage three years ago.

 

“Jongdae!” Baekhyun says with enthusiasm. “It’s good to see you in person. I was just turning over today’s spoils.”

 

“If you can really call all of this ‘spoils’,” Chanyeol interjects.

 

“Nice try. I picked up a brand new bat for the armory and enough bandages to stock the med bay for at least the next few months. Jongdae led me to a jackpot.”

 

“Fair enough, Newbie. Just don’t let it go to your head.”

 

“Not quite yet. But I am keeping one thing as a memento of my first day going so well.”

 

Baekhyun reaches into his pocket to pull out what looks like a pin, faux gold encrusted with faded lettering around the edges. And in the center, if Jongdae didn’t know better, he’d say that almost looked like a running shoe.

 

“It was on the bedroom floor of one of those new houses we scoped out,” Baekhyun explains, pinning it to the strap of his pack. “I think it’s supposed to be a track award, but given how things have changed...it’s pretty neat, huh?”

 

There’s absolutely no indication that the last question is directed at Jongdae, or if it’s even directed at anyone at all. Yet Jongdae still finds himself blurting out an “It suits you” before he can think better of it.

 

Okay. He’d wanted to contribute _something_ to the conversation. This wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. Still...he can fix this. There’s a perfectly acceptable follow-up to that statement, he’s sure.

 

Or maybe there isn’t, but Baekhyun saves him from finding out.

 

“And he’s also a man of taste. How about that?”

 

Baekhyun’s eyes have curved up into crescent moons, which really shouldn’t make Jongdae’s face flush as much as it is. He hadn’t expected himself to be so utterly charmed in so little time. How━ oh. Minseok’s elbowing him in the ribs. Basic human responses. Jongdae’s got this.

 

“Um,” he sputters, “I guess you could say that.”

 

Jongdae doesn’t got this.

 

“If you like the pin so much, you can have it,” Baekhyun tells him. “Here, let me just━”

 

“No, you don't have to. It’s got a running shoe on it and everything. I think fate is trying to tell you something.”

 

“It’s a bit too on-the-nose if I wear it, though, isn’t it? A Runner with a running shoe? Predictable. Egotistical, even. If you’re wearing it as our team logo? Loyal. Inspiring. The stuff of legends.”

 

Jongdae isn’t about to say no to that, he supposes. He takes the pin and fastens it to his shirt, fighting down the rising color in his cheeks. There’s nothing embarrassing about a little display of camaraderie.

 

“See? It suits you even more,” Baekhyun says, and the rest of the conversation goes by in a blur. Jongdae has a vague memory of a shared smile, an amicable goodbye, a promise to meet up like this again.

 

A hand tugging on his arm brings him back down to earth. Minseok is giving him a serious look, one that reads more as concern than admonishment. Still, Jongdae can already hear the words that are about to come out of his mouth.

 

“You don’t have to say it.”

 

“I just wanted to remind you the line is there for a reason. It’s not just for the township’s well-being.”

 

“There won’t be a problem. I was just...caught off guard.”

 

Minseok purses his lips. “If you’re sure.”

 

“I am.”

 

Who exactly is he trying to convince here? Jongdae hesitates before unfastening the pin and slipping it back into his pocket, feeling its weight. He won’t let this consume his thoughts. It was just a friendly gift, nothing more. It doesn’t mean anything beyond that.

 

It can’t.

 

☢

 

Somehow, it becomes a thing. In the next few months that it takes Baekhyun to settle into his new life, he insists on keeping the now-tradition alive of leaving Jongdae different odds and ends near the Operations entrance. The trinkets are never the same thing, but they all have a certain intrigue to them, were clearly picked out by the same discerning eye. Jongdae keeps the small stash tucked away in his living quarters underneath a loose floorboard. He probably shouldn’t, but he has to admit that he likes having the collection, something to take away from his job at the end of the day.

 

He does ask Baekhyun over the line why he does it, once. It doesn’t go how he expects.

 

“ _Simple_ ,” Baekhyun says rather cheekily. “ _It’s fun seeing you get so flustered. The first time you led me on a run, I didn’t think it would be possible._ ”

 

Jongdae feels his eyes narrow. “And how would you know, exactly? I’m pretty sure we’ve only met face-to-face two or three times after our first meeting.”

 

“ _For the record, the policy that restricts us from talking like normal humans is archaic and unproductive. But. You really think I’d go through the trouble of setting up a drop point and not lurk around to see your reaction_?”

 

“I’m pretty sure that qualifies as stalking.”

 

“ _You sound like Sehun. NO. I’m just making sure you safely get your presents. Also I want to laugh at the look on your face...mostly the latter. It’s cute._ ”

 

Jongdae pointedly ignores that last remark. “I’ll make sure to keep that in mind,” he says flatly.

 

It gets a staticky snort from Baekhyun, who’s silent for a long moment before he says, “ _Seriously though, Jongdae, not to get, uh, mushy and all that...but you’re kinda amazing._ ”

 

What.

 

“What.”

 

“ _I don’t know how you do it. On most people, I’d say blind optimism makes them look stupid, but you...it’s not blind, it’s just...how do I say this?_ ” He makes a frustrated sound. “ _You’re always so confident and put-together. It’s not arrogance. It’s not you being naive, either. You’re just...you._ ”

 

“You make it sound like I’m sort of human phenomenon.”

 

Jongdae’s trying to sound unaffected, but there’s a flush creeping up the sides of his neck.

 

“ _I just want you to understand how much it means to me, especially on a run, that you’ve always got your head on straight and you never let me think the worst. Your optimism is something special._ ”

 

“I...actually don’t know what to say,” Jongdae admits. “Thank you, but you’re plenty optimistic yourself. That’s why we get along so well.”

 

“ _You’ll get no argument from me about the latter, but no. I’m just using humor to cover up being cynical and/or terrified. Not quite the same thing._ ”

 

“I refuse to agree with that.”

 

“ _Always looking for the best in people_ ,” Baekhyun teases, and Jongdae can hear the laughter underneath it. “ _That’s what I love about you._ ”

 

And that’s enough for today. More than enough.

 

“Back to the run, Baekhyun. This warehouse isn’t going to search itself.”

 

That’s, in essence, how things continue to go. Jongdae finds out more about Baekhyun in scattered bits and pieces, sharing his own pieces in return. They learn more of each other’s personal quirks and mannerisms as they work out the kinks in this newly-formed partnership. Jongdae learns to appreciate Baekhyun’s talent as much as he appreciates the Runner’s wit.

 

And most importantly, Jongdae learns his own limits. Minseok stops giving him pointed looks after the first week and doesn’t bring the subject up again, which Jongdae appreciates, but that doesn’t change that Minseok does have a point. Jongdae isn’t going to let this go too far. So he’s careful, changing the atmosphere when things get too much, not getting near enough to even toe the line.

 

(Not meeting up with Baekhyun for even the maximum time he’s allotted, so that he’s not tempted by that smile.)

 

Life is good. Jongdae is confident he can keep it that way.

 

☢

 

“ _How about this: when Polaris eventually livens up its little corner of paradise, should we build a waterslide or a rollercoaster?_ ”

 

“What kind of a question is that?” Jongdae asks, genuinely dumbfounded, then, “Turn left at the next intersection.”

 

“ _I’m just saying. It’s inevitable, and we need to━_ ”

 

“Your _left_ , Baekhyun.”

 

_“Shit, my bad. But we have to plan for the future. We need to start building out the base infrastructure so we at least have space and resources set aside._ ”

 

“Well, a water slide isn’t happening for obvious reasons. We’re stretched thin enough as it is without ━ just over the hill and to your right ━ pumping gallons down a plastic tube.”

 

“ _Not into the tunnels?_ ”

 

“Another time.”

 

“ _On it. And the rollercoaster?_ ”

 

“I’m going to be generous and give it a ‘maybe’. Coming up on the town yet?”

 

“ _That’s sweet_ .” A few seconds of static pass over the line. “ _I’m here, but...I don’t know about this._ ”

 

Jongdae doesn’t like the nervous edge to his words. “Something wrong?” he prompts.

 

“ _It could be nothing. My earpiece buzzed for a moment, and looking around...it’s hard to describe, but it feels off. Like someone or something has been shifting things around recently._ ”

 

What reason would zombies have for rearranging a ghost town? The possibilities churn something uncomfortable in Jongdae’s stomach. Still, now’s not the time to be speculating.

 

“Stick close to Sehun for now. If you’ve got a bad feeling about it, so do I.”

 

“ _He’s already stuck to me. Minseok must have told him the same thing_.”

 

“Good. See if you two can scope out that market we were hoping to strip.”

 

“Roger that.”

 

Baekhyun gets to work with his normal routine, commenting when he comes across something mildly interesting and feeding Jongdae information. Anything beyond general status updates aren’t actually necessary, but Jongdae indulges him. He has a hunch filling in the silence helps calm the other man’s nerves, and the last thing he needs is for Baekhyun to lose his edge.

 

And speaking of an edge...he can see Minseok’s foot tapping just a bit too rapidly against the floor to be anything but nerves. If this has even Minseok rattled, maybe they shouldn’t━

 

“ _Oh FUCK. Jesus fucking━_ ”

 

“Baekhyun, what’s happening?”

 

“ _Remember how I said someone was messing around here? Yeah, that ‘someone’ was a horde of fucking zoms at least twenty strong._ ”

 

Of course it had to be. Jongdae allows himself exactly three seconds to get his bearings before he dials his full focus back into the run.

 

“You’ve got this, okay? We had to deal with a horde two weeks ago, and you made it through just fine.”

 

“ _Because that was eight of them. Did you hear me when I said TWENTY?_ ”

 

“Same concept. Stay a few steps ahead of them, eliminate any isolated stragglers but avoid the pack, don’t get bitten. I’ll help find you a safe way out.”

 

“ _I mean, technically you’re right. I guess._ ” Baekhyun lets out a deep breath, cutting into the pattern of semi-even exhales from his hurried escape. “ _Okay...south side of town where we came in is blocked by the horde, so I’m heading east with Sehun. Anything good our way?_ ”

 

The map display readjusts with a few quick flicks of Jongdae’s fingers. He zooms in on the new part of town and runs through a list of possibilities in his head, already ruling out a solid handful.

 

“That perimeter wall definitely narrows your options...but it looks like there’s a gatehouse in that direction. Keep following the road to the edge of town. It should be the easiest way out.”

 

“ _As long as we don’t get ourselves cornered_.”

 

“Cut that out. You’re almost there, and we’re making it through this.”

 

“ _Sorry._ ” Baekhyun’s voice sounds thin, stretched too tight. “ _It’s really hard not to be picturing every way they could kill me. My imagination is way too vivid for this kind of thing._ ”

 

“Then think of something else,” Jongdae instructs. “Imagine I’m there with you.”

 

“ _Is this about to get spicy? Should I get to somewhere more private?”_

 

Even if there’s something still off in Baekhyun’s voice, at least it sounds like he’s calmer. Jongdae almost opens his mouth again and crosses a line, but thankfully stops himself before he says something he can’t take back. Instead, he tries a slightly different angle.

 

“Imagine I’m running right on your heels. I’m watching your back, keeping you from looking over your shoulder and guiding your every turn. We’re in this together. Just picture that second step of footsteps.”

 

He can hear the hitch in Baekhyun’s breathing smooth out considerably.

 

“ _As if you could keep up with me_.”

 

There he is. “Humble as ever. You should be coming up on the gatehouse soon. Have it in your sights?”

 

“ _Sehun’s heading in right now, and I’m right behind him._ ”

 

“Good. You should be able to head right on through. Outside the perimeter wall, you’re home free.”

 

“ _Got it. We’re almost to...oh, shit. No way.”_

 

“Baekhyun, you have to give me more than that.” Jongdae’s trying really, _really_ hard to keep a cool head here.

 

“ _The exit is blocked. There was a collapse in this section of the wall, and we can’t move rubble this big. SHIT.”_

 

It’s just another re-route. It’s not a big deal. If they can’t go through, then maybe…?

 

“Did Chanyeol load you out with your climbing gear this morning?”

 

“ _I think...yep._ ”

 

“Okay, good. This is a gatehouse, so there should be a way up into the towers and onto the top of the wall. If you can get up there…”

 

“ _Then I can rappel down the other side. One of the towers was part of the collapse, but there’s still a door to the other one._ ”

 

“Can you get in?”

 

“ _No, it’s locked. Of course it’s fucking locked._ ”

 

Baekhyun’s starting to sound a bit hysterical. Jongdae doesn’t blame him, but it’s not making this any easier.

 

“Breathe. You have that shiny new bat with you. One solid hit to the lock should do the trick if you can get the angle right. Have Sehun keep watch.”

 

“ _Keep an eye out on the entrance; I’ve got this_ ,” Jongdae hears Baekhyun say, then, “ _Yeah, Minseok give you any better ideas?_ ” A pause. “ _Sorry. Just...please? Thank you_.”

 

“Got it all figured out?”

 

“ _More or less. Here goes nothing_.”

 

The echo of metal on metal is picked up in a scattered burst. Jongdae doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath until it’s sucked back out of his lungs.

 

“ _It didn’t work. Jongdae, I can hear the horde coming. I don’t think━_ ”

 

“Try it again.”

 

Another hit. Another.

 

“ _Fuck. Fuck, I don’t want to die._ ” It’s barely a whisper, but it makes Jongdae’s heart sink on the other man’s behalf.

 

“And you’re not going to. One last swing, dead center.”

 

The resulting echo is louder this time. Jongdae thinks something may have hit the floor, but he doesn’t dare celebrate prematurely.

 

“ _Fucking CHRIST, it finally worked. Sehun, get over here! We’re leaving!_ ”

 

Those are definitely the sounds of combat on the other side of the line. Jongdae decides it’s probably best not to comment on it.

 

“You clear?”

 

“ _Heading up now. Jongdae...I’m sorry for losing my head. I shouldn’t━_ ”

 

“Don’t worry about that. _Run_.”

 

There’s more feedback coming through the headset than Jongdae expected. It must be an enclosed space, then, maybe some sort of spiral staircase. A narrow passage like that isn’t ideal, but...hold on, are those groans he’s picking up in the feedback?

 

“Is the horde on the stairs already?”

 

“ _I wasted too much time. They’re right on top of us._ ”

 

“There’s still enough time. Have your harness out and ready to go. I can’t see on here how tall the tower is, but are you almost to the top?”

 

“ _Maybe. I…_ ”

 

A loud burst of static makes Jongdae jump in his seat. Strange that they’d be having connection issues this high up instead of in the main gatehouse, but you could never really judge with ruins.

 

“Baekhyun? You cut out for a moment.”

 

“ _I’m almost there, but Sehun...Sehun fell coming up behind me. He…_ ”

 

“Talk to me.”

 

“ _I don’t see him; I’m heading back._ ” Baekhyun sounds like he’s about to hyperventilate. “ _He should have gotten right back up, but he━ What did I do? What_ do _I━?_ ”

 

“Baekhyun━”

 

“ _Where the hell did━_ ”

 

Something has gone horribly wrong. Jongdae knows this because of the broken scream that filters through his headphones, a piercing sound that goes straight to his core before it’s cut off with everything else. Silence. He slides one side of his headphones off and turns to Minseok, who’s pale as a sheet.

 

“I lost the connection,” Jongdae tells him, hands shaking.

 

“So did I. Give me your headset and go warn Chanyeol. We need the gates ready, extra lookouts posted, and Medical on standby.”

 

“I can’t just _leave_. If the connection is restored, I need to lead Baekhyun back━”

 

“To where I can also lead him,” Minseok finishes. “Go. I figured out your plan.”

 

Jongdae hesitates for a moment longer before he hands off the headphones, already up out of his seat. “Are you going to be okay?”

 

“Go.”

 

It’s not an answer Jongdae’s satisfied with, but it’s one that will have to do. He leaves Minseok to his work in Operations and sprints back into the sunlight, back to the warehouse where he knows he’ll find who he’s looking for.

 

Chanyeol is actually the one to spot him first. The Sorter ducks underneath one of the suspended crates with a confused look on his face, one that becomes increasingly concerned when he sees Jongdae’s panicked gaze.

 

“Dae? What’s wrong?”

 

“The run went south.”  Saying it out loud makes it much more real. Nausea worms its way up Jongdae’s spine as he continues. “The two of them could be back any minute, but they could be tailed. And I won’t be surprised if they have injuries.”

 

“I’ll get the gates opened and everyone else where they need to be.” Chanyeol hesitates. “What happened?”

 

“I wish I knew.”

 

Were Jongdae’s hands shaking this badly before? Chanyeol must notice, because his tone changes into something much softer. “Hey, I’ll be right back. And I’m sure they’ll show up in just a minute.”

 

Jongdae can only hope.

 

True to his word, Chanyeol is suddenly everywhere at once, barking orders out to the others and looking much more like the authority figure he is. The gate has just finished cranking open when Chanyeol is back at Jongdae’s side, squinting as far as he can see out past the township’s borders.

 

“There!” he shouts, pointing an excited finger.

 

Finally, Jongdae feels like he can breathe properly. But he can feel Chanyeol’s initial excitement dim, and once he can make out the figure on approach, he understands why: Baekhyun is covered from head to toe in an unmistakable spray of red, running like he’s half out of his mind. When he makes it past the open gate, he stumbles, nearly collapsing before a Responder steadies him on his feet. Jongdae is at his side in a heartbeat.

 

“Are you okay?” he asks, cursing himself a moment later. What a stupid thing to ask.

 

“Jongdae.” Baekhyun’s eyes finally focus on him. There’s a horror written in those fear-blown pupils. They’ve seen something they were never meant to see.

 

“Where’s Sehun?”

 

It’s not Jongdae who asks the question. It’s Minseok, who comes up behind him, and Baekhyun’s gaze visibly falters. His hands have that same shake, Jongdae notes with a sort of detached interest.

 

“Sehun didn’t…”

 

Baekhyun doesn’t finish the sentence. He dissolves into ugly, pained sobs that send tremors though his body. Minseok’s face goes through four different emotions before he puts on something neutral, looking at his shoes.

 

“I see.”

 

Jongdae feels the loss hit him like a punch to the stomach. He’d never felt anything worse than thinking he’d lost his Runner, but to actually know someone wasn’t coming back home…

 

“Get him to Medical,” Chanyeol orders, face grim. “He needs to be cleaned up and checked out as quickly as possible.”

 

The Responders start to lead a sobbing Baekhyun away. Jongdae can still hear the echo of his scream from earlier, the anguish in it despite the distortion. It’s so, so tempting to comb back over every detail today and wonder what he could have changed, how he could have done more. But that’s a ledge he firmly steps back from, letting go with one long exhale.

 

Jongdae places a gentle hand on Minseok’s shoulder, gives him a soft “I’m so sorry.” Minseok doesn’t answer. He rests his hand on top of Jongdae’s and takes a deep breath of his own.

 

There’s nothing left to say.

 

☢

 

Baekhyun is cleared for visitors the following morning. Jongdae wishes he could say he slept well, that he wasn’t counting down the minutes until he could see for himself how the other was faring. Instead, he tosses and turns through a restless night of should-haves and what-ifs.

 

It’s been some time since he’s visited Medical. The hospital building is nothing like the old-world pale prisons Jongdae’s seen pictures of, but it still carries a vague feeling of uneasiness that settles uncomfortably under his skin. He does his best to shake the sensation before heading down the back hallway.

 

“He’s right inside,” the Medic tells him. “Call if you need any assistance.”

 

“I will, thank you.”

 

Here goes nothing. Jongdae quietly opens the door and steps inside.

 

Baekhyun is propped up against a pillow on the hospital bed, covered in small bandages and looking much less worse for wear than yesterday. That hadn’t been his blood, then. Jongdae tries not to think too long on the implications. Baekhyun’s gaze is focused on the window on the opposite end of the room, but his head jerks around to Jongdae when the door clicks shut.

 

“Oh. It’s you.”

 

“Don’t sound so excited about it.”

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean…” Baekhyun’s expression falls even further, and Jongdae waves off his apology.

 

“I wasn’t serious. But I can come back later if now’s not a good time.”

 

It would kill him a little inside, but he’d still do it.

 

“Please don’t go.” Baekhyun’s voice is small. “They only checked up on me once overnight and I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

 

Something aches in Jongdae’s chest. “I can do that,” he reassures. “Make some room?”

 

Baekhyun shifts further over on the covers, letting Jongdae take a seat on the edge of the bed. It doesn’t matter that this is far from the most comfortable spot in the world. If Jongdae can be what Baekhyun needs right now, a little discomfort is a small price to pay.

 

(He almost reaches out to take the other man’s hand, almost bridges that gap, but thinks better of it. He can hear Minseok’s voice in his head telling him not to do anything he’ll regret.)

 

“Want to talk about it, or do you want me to distract you?” Jongdae asks. It doesn’t seem like Baekhyun currently has the emotional capacity for more small talk.

 

“I suppose they’ll make me talk eventually.”

 

“Not if you don’t want to. But if you do, I take vows of silence very seriously.”

 

“You mean that?” Baekhyun hardly waits for another breath before he shakes his head, drawing his knees up to his chest. “What am I saying? Of course you do.”

 

Barely audible footsteps pass outside the door. Jongdae watches as Baekhyun’s gaze darts to the source of the sound. The look of guilt that reveals itself on the other man’s face for the briefest of moments doesn’t escape his notice. This isn’t just trauma; this is a tangled mess of self-blame.

 

“Whatever happened, just know it wasn’t your fault.”

 

“It was entirely, absolutely my fault.”

 

“You can’t blame━”

 

“I’m supposed to have trained for this, and instead I lost it when things got bad. I made a complete fool of myself while you tried to salvage my breakdown. I removed all room for mistakes.”

 

Baekhyun’s knuckles are white where he grips the sheets. “He just _tripped_. That shouldn’t have been all it took. I ran back down the stairs as fast as I could, but it was too late. Most of his shoulder was already gone, and there was...so much blood. He wouldn’t...the screaming kept...”

 

“You don’t have to finish.”

 

“I didn’t know what else to do. I took my knife, held it across his throat, and I just…”

 

Two of his fingers draw a line across his own jugular, frozen in place and pointed toward the off-white wall. Jongdae gently lowers them back down. This time, he doesn’t let go.

 

“Listen,” he says, “I know this isn't what you want to hear right now. Nothing I say will make you feel any less horrible. But ending it quickly was the best thing you could have done. It was a mercy.”

 

Baekhyun’s glassed-over expression regains some of its focus. “And everything else I royally fucked up?”

 

“I’m not going to lie and say you couldn’t have handled it better. But there’s a huge difference between Bootcamp and actually being a Runner. You’ll learn. I’m here to help teach you. You think I’ve never been scared on a run?”

 

“Please. I’ve never seen you scared.”

 

“You’ve never _heard_ me scared, because I don’t want it interfering with your run.” Jongdae doesn’t realize he’s taking the dive before he’s over the edge. “When I didn’t think you were coming back yesterday, I was terrified. And after you were safely back through the gates, just for a moment I had a horrible, selfish thought: I was glad we hadn’t lost you instead.”

 

“Jongdae…”

 

Baekhyun’s full attention is zeroed in on him, and suddenly Jongdae’s not sure if that’s something he can handle.

 

“I only meant to say that I’m human, too. Don’t look at me like some kind of unreachable standard.”

 

A long moment passes. Then, very softly, Baekhyun murmurs, “I’m glad I made it back, too. Because if I hadn’t...it would have been really awful to not see you again.”

 

The freedom that had come with taking the leap suddenly feels a lot like falling.

 

“Get some rest, Baekhyun,” Jongdae tells him, squeezing his hand once more. “And think about what I said.”

 

He has to get 50 feet from the hospital’s front doors to feel like he can breathe again.

 

It’s okay, he tries to reason with the tightness in his chest. Baekhyun is alive, recovering, very much flesh and blood and not just a voice through his headset that he can make laugh a few days a week━

 

Is that what this is? Not Minseok’s voice in his head, after all, but his own fear of being more than a semi-entertaining instruction set?

 

Jongdae’s feet end up at Minseok’s door even before he knows where he’s heading. There’s just barely enough room in a standard living quarters to be comfortable for one person, but Minseok takes one look at Jongdae’s expression and waves him inside to the single couch.

 

“So,” Minseok starts. “You went to see him.”

 

“I did.”

 

“He holding up as badly as you expected?”

 

“At first. By the end, at least, I think there was some improvement.” Jongdae’s fingers tap against the side of his leg. “I probably...said a bit more than I should have.”

 

“It wasn’t anything you didn't mean, was it?”

 

“Minseok━”

 

“No, listen to me.” Minseok turns to face him fully now, feet propped up on the cushions. “Personally? I still think you’re in way too deep. The rules about attachment aren’t there to crush dreams; they’re there to stop it from hurting so badly when everything goes wrong. It already tears you up enough to begin with.”

 

Jongdae immediately feels like the worst person in the world.

 

“I’m so sorry,” he backtracks. “Here I am complaining to you about something like this when━”

 

“It’s better this way. Some people need to talk out their feelings; I need to compartmentalize.” Minseok takes a long pause. “Sehun knew what he signed up for, and that’s all I’m going to say about it.”

 

If it were anyone else but Minseok, the words would sound like an incredibly unhealthy excuse. But Minseok...they’ve gone through enough together for Jongdae to trust the other man’s way to cope. The best thing Jongdae can do to help is probably to stay quiet on the subject.

 

“Back to you,” Minseok says. “What I’m trying to get out is that I don’t want you getting hurt. This is a one-way ticket to heartbreak, one way or another. It’s not worth it to take the risk unless you’re absolutely sure.”

 

Jongdae doesn’t ask “of what”. He knows. And he wonders why he’s spent so long, even now, associating his stuttering heartbeat with something like a death sentence. Does something that fills him up so completely have to mean so much pain?

 

“To tell you the truth,” Jongdae admits, “I think that not being there for him in the way he seems to want hurts more than losing him ever would. It kind of scares me, but it’s also...I don’t know. Something that feels like it was always meant to be? I can’t just let it go.”

 

Minseok looks down at his hands for a long moment before he lets out a sigh. “Okay.”

 

“Really, that’s it? No trying to convince me otherwise?”

 

“I said my piece. But if this is what you need, I’ll support you. You know that.”

 

“I...thank you. That means a lot.”

 

It’s not like he expected a full-blown fight, or for Minseok to sell him out, or anything of the sort. Jongdae’s gratitude is more for how it makes him feel like he’s not entirely crazy for veering off the straight and narrow.

 

“I just want you to promise me one thing, Jongdae.”

 

“Which is?”

 

Minseok’s stare is unwavering and absolute.

 

“Be careful.”

 

☢

 

Baekhyun is allowed bedrest for three more days. It takes an even shorter time for Polaris’s leadership to notify the second-string Runner trainee of his newly opened position. Having two Runners without much real-world experience isn’t ideal, but at least Kyungsoo will be a familiar face for easing Baekhyun back into runs.

 

That process is easier said than done. On his first day back, Baekhyun gives Jongdae a stilted greeting over the line and hardly reciprocates any effort to make conversation. He’s audibly anxious about every observation outside the gate, alternating between complete silence and a nervous stream of filler. They don’t make it past the first neighborhood before Baekhyun’s tracker stops moving.

 

“ _Jongdae...I don’t think I can do this._ ”

 

The way his voice breaks sort of breaks Jongdae’s heart, but Baekhyun doesn’t need to know that.

 

“Yes, you can,” Jongdae tells him firmly. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. You’re safe.”

 

“ _I’m sure Minseok told Sehun the exact same thing before he wasn’t._ ”

 

There’s not a good answer for that. Jongdae doesn’t even try. But he does send a discrete glance in Minseok’s direction before trying a different tactic. “We skipped your breathing routine today because I wanted you to dive back into the swing of things, but let’s do it now, okay? Deep breaths in and out.”

 

“ _There’s a million ways I could die out here, and right now you want me to focus on my_ breathing _?_ ”

 

“I want you to calm down and listen to me. Running without a clear head is worse than running blind. Can you still feel your anchor?”

 

A pause. “ _No. And I couldn’t find it back when...when everything happened. I’m sorry._ ”

 

That’s okay. Jongdae can still work with this. Maybe he can give Baekhyun aa different visualization. Maybe he can draw a stronger connection with the other’s childhood. Maybe━

 

“Maybe a place wasn’t enough, and your anchor needs to be a person.”

 

Or that. No time like the present, huh?

 

“ _Are you saying that you should be my anchor?_ ”

 

The genuine bewilderment in Baekhyun’s voice, at least, makes it seem like this is taking his mind off his nerves. Jongdae takes that chance and runs with it.

 

“If you want. I’m here with you, sure, but I’m also back at the township waiting for you to get back safely. And I’m going to be pissed as _hell_ if you keep me waiting.”

 

A laugh. Short and soft, but a laugh nonetheless. Jongdae will count that as a victory.

 

“ _Alright then, fine. You can be my anchor. How do I go about setting that up?_ ”

 

“Easy. You focus on my voice, on how I’m telling you that I would never let anyone or anything hurt you.” Minseok had better have his headphones on _tight_. “And you picture the thread that connects us, the thread that always forms a way back home. Now you can never lose your way.”

 

“ _I might need some more details about this Red String of Fate that’s suddenly connecting us…_ ”

 

“Yep, we’re done here. Better get moving before Kyungsoo thinks you’ve lost your touch.”

 

“ _Okay, okay, I’m on it. And Jongdae…_ ”

 

“You don’t need to say anything.”

 

“ _Shut up. Thank you_.”

 

Over the next few weeks, Baekhyun stops jumping at every single sound and digging himself into a pit of self-doubt, while Minseok no longer looks like the weight of the world is resting on his shoulders. The day that Baekhyun stops by Operations with a shiny new trinket and a shy smile on his face, Jongdae knows things have turned around.

 

Months pass. One balmy summer night finds Jongdae curled up in his living quarters with a worn copy of a sci-fi novel that he’d borrowed from Polaris’s collection of old-world books. It’s cheesy, but he always enjoys reading versions of different futures that never came to pass. It’s a night much like any other before he hears knocking at his door.

 

“Minseok,” Jongdae answers it with, “Don’t you think it’s too...late?”

 

It’s not Minseok. Baekhyun is shifting his weight from foot to foot, a habit Jongdae’s still not sure means he’s excited or nervous. He supposes there’s stranger things that could happen other than his Runner showing up here after sundown, but━ Wait a second.

 

“What are you still doing up? You have a six o'clock run tomorrow morning!”

 

“I feel like I don’t actually need to tell you how hypocritical that is.” Baekhyun grins. “And besides, aren’t you excited to see me? Tell me I haven’t made your Sunday night a little more interesting.”

 

“We’ll go with that,” Jongdae says, but he can’t entirely hide his own smile.

 

“That’s the spirit! Follow me; I have something to show you.”

 

Still not the strangest thing that could have happened. But Jongdae’s eyebrows raise a few inches when he realizes Baekhyun is leading them to his own quarters in the Runners’ residential area. It wasn’t common for someone to visit like this ━ that’s what the township’s public spaces were for. Even Jongdae has only been to Minseok’s place, along with Chanyeol’s a handful of times. For Baekhyun to invite him inside means Jongdae’s someone important to him. The thought makes a pleasant feeling settle in his chest.

 

“You can grab a seat on the couch,” Baekhyun tells him. “I’ll be right back.”

 

Baekhyun’s quarters are surprisingly bare. The basic provisioned furniture is there, a few scattered post-it notes and some exercise equipment, but nothing that had a particularly personal flair. It makes sense, Jongdae supposes. Baekhyun would have been too busy during Bootcamp to have much time for other hobbies, and now he probably spends most of his time outside keeping in top shape for runs. Still, Jongdae would have liked to learn _something_ new.

 

There’s a set of footsteps coming back, followed by Baekhyun’s command of “Close your eyes.”

 

“They’re closed.”

 

“No peeking, okay? I don’t want you to ruin your surprise.”

 

“If you got me a pet zombie, we’re no longer friends.”

 

A snort. “Well, it isn’t exactly on that level, but...surprise.”

 

Jongdae opens his eyes. He immediately notices the large frame Baekhyun has propped up on the coffee table, but it takes a few moments for what he’s looking at to really sink in. It’s a collage ━ a spectacle of deconstructed trinkets placed painstakingly together in the glimmering outline of Polaris. Jongdae’s eyes slowly rake down the piece to take it all in.

 

“Baekhyun, this is...stunning. Are these from your runs?”

 

“All of them. I’ve been collecting for a while now so I could put this together. You got the best stuff, of course, but the rest went right here.” He looks at his hands instead of Jongdae, like he’s embarrassed. “It’s supposed to be something like...making a new world from the old one? How nothing’s ever really lost? Sorry, maybe I overthought it.”

 

“Don’t be like that. You’ve done something really incredible here.”

 

“You really like it?” Baekhyun asks, unsure.

 

“I love it.”

 

“Okay, good. Because in all honesty, I made it for you.”

 

For a split second, Jongdae forgets how to breathe.

 

“I guess you were really the one to make this possible” Baekhyun continues. “You always find a way to see good in everything, and...I don’t know. It made me see beauty in everyday things, too. So, thank you. Thank you for being so much more to me than just a voice in my ear.”

 

There’s so many things Jongdae feels like he _should_ say, about how Baekhyun should watch his words, how this could turn into a very bad idea. But none of that feels right. Instead, he salutes the life he’s lived up until this moment, faces whatever comes next with open arms, and says, “I really hope I’m reading into this correctly, because I think I’m falling in love with you.”

 

Baekhyun lights up like the entire sun.

 

“Good. I’m glad I’m not the only one,” he says, and then he’s leaning down to press a kiss against Jongdae’s lips.

 

He’s been overthinking this for the better part of a year, Jongdae realizes with sudden clarity. All this time, he’d never let himself hope for a happy ending. How uncharacteristic of him, when Baekhyun is love and light and everything he’s been looking for.

 

But this isn’t the time to chastise himself for not realizing it sooner. In this moment, he reaches out to pull Baekhyun in closer. He kisses him once for every time he’s imagined being able to do so, then twice more for good measure.

 

In this safe haven they’ve created of discovery and unshakable trust, Jongdae loses himself to the warmth.

 

☢

 

Everything about Jongdae’s world seems a little brighter now. He can’t help how he walks with an extra spring in his step, how he often finds his lips pulled up in a smile without realizing. He even hangs Baekhyun’s gift in the center of the Operations room wall, damn the consequences, because being able to look at it and what it represents still sets off fireworks in his chest.

 

Minseok had given him a long look about it, a serious “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

 

Jongdae absolutely did. He told his friend just as much. And that was the last thing said about it before the mural took up permanent residence.

 

A muffled sound through his headphones brings Jongdae back to the present.

 

“Baekhyun, did you say something?”

 

“ _No, I think that was just interference. What I was_ going _to say is that I don’t like being so close to...you know. There. I keep getting weird chills._ ”

 

“You’re still a few blocks away, plus you’re downwind from where we last saw any traces of the horde. But if anything seems out of the ordinary, I’ll pull you out.”

 

“ _I appreciate it._ ” Baekhyun’s voice regains some of its enthusiasm. “ _So, remind me again what we’re looking for?_ ”

 

“Weapons, mostly. As far as Minseok and I can tell, there used to be some sort of old-world military base here before it was abandoned. We’ve been meaning to comb this whole area for some time.”

 

“ _Sounds good to me. I’m hoping for a brand-new shotgun. And if I find one...it might accidentally skip the normal turn-in procedure._ ”

 

Jongdae snorts. “Right. Because I’m sure you can just slip that under your shirt and smuggle it through the gates.”

 

“ _I’m sure you’d be surprised at more than one thing I hide under my shirt._ ”

 

“We’re at _work_.”

 

“ _Since when are you no fun? Honestly you’d think━_ ”

 

The comment is cut off by a burst of static that makes Jongdae jump in his seat. He shakes his headphones just to see if something’s come loose, but the indecipherable buzz continues.

 

“ _━Dae? Can you hear me?_ ”

 

“I’m here.”

 

“ _That was weird; you cut out for a second. All I got was static._ ”

 

“Same on my end. Are you at the base yet?”

 

“ _It’s over the next ridge. I can see some pretty tall satellite towers ━ what’s left of them, anyway. This must be the place_.”

 

Jongdae’s about to reply, but movement in his peripheral makes him turn to see Minseok gesturing worriedly at him. “One second, Baekhyun,” he says, and puts himself on mute, slipping one side of the headphones off. “Something wrong?”

 

“I lost all contact with Kyungsoo,” Minseok says gravely. “Not just a communications break, either. I can’t see anything on the monitor, not even where his tracker is.”

 

“Were you getting scattered interference, too?”

 

“On and off before it dropped entirely. They shouldn’t be out of range.”

 

Maybe there’s something still up and running at the base, something blocking outside connections. It seems unlikely, but so was this returning feeling of dread that crawls down Jongdae’s spine. They were supposed to have _dealt_ with the danger in this sector already.

 

“Baekhyun,” he says, unmuting himself. “I don’t like this. Minseok can’t get a connection with Kyungsoo. Did he go on ahead?”

 

“ _He went into the main building to take a look while I scout the perimeter some more. Can’t get a connection? There’s something off about this place, but I don’t understand━_ ”

 

“Pull back. This is way too similar to last time, and I’m not...damn it.”

 

The same loop of scratchy feedback is playing into his ears. Right on cue, the monitor flickers and goes white, an error message displaying across the center of the screen.

 

“Same thing happen to you?” Minseok asks.

 

“Completely dark.”

 

“Shit. Shit, shit, _shit_.” Minseok’s fingers look like they’re about to drill into his temples. Jongdae half wants to join him, but for both of their sakes…

 

“Look, it’s not a lost cause. Baekhyun knows there were connection issues around the base, and he at least heard the start of me telling him to leave. Once they establish they both lost their link, they’ll regroup somewhere in range and give us an update. We just have to wait it out.”

 

He doesn’t say that he hopes they’re not careless enough to keep searching, but he thinks Minseok sees through that omission anyway. Still, it’s the positivity that Jongdae has to hold on to.

 

He’s still holding onto it three hours later, after neither he nor Minseok have gotten any word from either of their Runners. They stay in their seats accompanied by nothing more than total radio silence.

 

“What should we do?” Jongdae asks, finally caving.

 

“Skipped that day in training?” It might have actually sounded like a joke if Minseok didn’t sound so defeated. “We give them until sunrise. If they’re not back by then, we report to Command that they’re lost.”

 

Jongdae knows that policy by heart, and it’s not the answer that he was looking for. There’s a big difference between what they’re expected to do and what their actual plan is going to be ━ or, at least, what Jongdae’s planning.

 

“I’m going after them.”

 

“Command might let us be a part of the search team if we play our cards right.” Minseok pauses when the realization catches up to him. “Wait, you mean...Jongdae, no. _No_. You’re crazy to even━”

 

“I’m not crazy at all,” Jongdae cuts him off. “If we wait until morning to get them help, it’ll be too late. Every hour we leave them out there, the less likely they are to come back.”

 

“There’s a reason Command sends out search parties. It’s so we don’t have to risk our lives to go looking for them.”

 

“And there’s a reason so few search parties have come up successful! Because it takes too many resources and too much risk to fully sweep the area for someone who’s supposed to lay down their life for the good of the township. And as far as us joining in? Not going to happen, unfair as it is, because they’ll be conducting a formal investigation into how both of us let our Runners drop off the map.”

 

Jongdae takes a deep breath, reeling the worst of his frustration back in.

 

“We owe it to them to do this,” he insists. “I’m not letting you lose another Runner. And Baekhyun, he...I’m not losing him.”

 

For a long moment, Minseok is silent. “You really love him, don’t you?”

 

“Something like that, yeah.”

 

Minseok’s fingers massage his temples, thinking, before he chooses his next words.

 

“I know that I can’t stop you from going,” he relents, “but if we’re doing this, we’re going to be smart about it. You leave at dawn, not now when the sun’s just about to go down, and I’ll delay saying anything to Command. I’ll be your cover and your in-ear while you’re out there. Deal?”

 

Forget the formalities. Jongdae skips over those and goes straight for the hug, nearly knocking Minseok out of his chair. If Jongdae’s being honest, he’s terrified beyond belief to go outside those gates. Having Minseok here to guide him, to act as his anchor? There’s only one thing he can possibly say to that.

 

“Thank you.”

 

☢

 

At first light, when the edge of the sun is just beginning to glow over the horizon, Minseok accompanies Jongdae to the gates. Chanyeol had volunteered for guard duty this shift upon Minseok’s request, and he hastily ushers them into Storage with a few quick glances thrown over his shoulder.

 

“I owe you for this,” Jongdae says while Chanyeol begins to root through the contents of one locker. “If word gets back to Command, I promise your name won’t come up.”

 

“Don't mention it ━ that’s what friends do.” Chanyeol promptly shuts the locker and starts to unlock another. “You know, when I first heard about your plan, I thought you were batshit crazy.”

 

“And now?”

 

“I thought about it for a while. And I figured if somebody looked at me like he looks at you, I might do something batshit crazy, too.”

 

That probably shouldn’t calm Jongdae down as much as it does. He gets the exact opposite feeling a moment later when Chanyeol holds out a holster wrapped around a silver pistol.

 

“A gun? Are you sure?”

 

“They’re only allowed in special cases, and to me this counts as a special case. You get the five bullets it’s loaded with. Command would notice if I smuggle you any extra ammo. And don’t try to open the bullet chamber, because the patchwork is fragile enough in there as it is.”

 

Maybe taking that crisis training class hadn’t been useless, after all. Jongdae fastens the holster around his waist with a nod. “Everything else good to go?”

 

“Let me just finish getting your earpiece on...” Something clicks in place. “There we go. You’ll do a signal check with Minseok once you’re fifty feet out from the gates and turn right back around if you don’t get a solid connection. Got it?”

 

“Got it. And seriously, thank you.”

 

Chanyeol claps him twice on the shoulder. “Best of luck. I’ll be ready to open the gates on your signal.”

 

When he walks away, Minseok’s face seems to go two shades paler.

 

“This is really happening.”

 

“All thanks to your help.”

 

Minseok stares at some point in space, shaking his head with a growing look of horror. “I don’t know why I let you go through with this, Jongdae,” he admits. “You have no field experience, no idea what you’re up against, and no way of knowing the same thing won’t happen to you that happened to them. And I can’t…” His voice hitches. “You know what I mean.”

 

_I can’t lose you, too_. Jongdae hears him loud and clear.

 

“I promise I’ll be back before you start to miss me,” Jongdae tells him. “Besides, you’ll be talking my ear off the entire time, anyway. By the time we’re finished, we’ll never want to speak to each other again.”

 

Minseok’s smile looks more like a grimace, but it’s there. “We’ll see about that. Okay...I’ll head back to Operations, so give Chanyeol the all-clear when you’re ready. Good luck.”

 

“Who needs luck when I have you?”

 

For a moment, Minseok’s smile is a real one.

 

☢

 

“ _Check, check. Can you hear me okay?_ ”

 

“Loud and clear.”

 

The gravity of the situation hasn’t left him, but Jongdae can’t stop admiring _everything_. His response to Minseok’s voice is an automatic one, his focus taken up by misshapen outlines of once-homes and streaks of sunrise painting the morning sky.

 

How do Runners ever get used to looking at it all? Does the novelty really wear off if you look long enough? They’re ruins sure, but there’s something fascinating about this window into the place this used to be.

 

“ _How are you doing on the running side of things?_ ”

 

“I should be able to keep up a decent pace as long as I take breaks. Nothing close to the time Kyungsoo and Baekhyun can make.”

 

“ _Should we sign you up for a few days of Bootcamp?_ ”

 

A snort sounds over the line after the audible noise of disgust Jongdae makes. He’s not in bad shape, no, but there’s a reason he’s an Operator and not a Runner. He’ll pass on those workout routines from Hell.

 

“ _I’ll take that as a no. Alright, focusing. You’ll want to take your next right and stay on that road for another two miles._ ”

 

“Assuming I break every fifteen minutes, do you have an ETA for me?”

 

_“Let’s see ━ if you take two minute breaks and maintain your current speed...somewhere around three hours? Three and a half, tops_.”

 

It could be worse. Jongdae tells that to himself a few more times in hopes of coming to terms with the physical exertion he’ll be putting his body through for the foreseeable future. An hour in, the phrase somewhat loses its charm. Two hours in, he wants to do nothing more than curl up on some ruined doorstep and go back to sleep.

 

Three hours in, Jongdae finds himself in a sort of trance. He can hardly feel his body anymore, his legs mostly moving on their own as they carry him over equal parts dirt and pavement. The spell is only broken when Minseok tells him, “ _You’ve almost made it. This should be around the spot where we lost contact, over the ridge_.”

 

The ridge. Now that Minseok’s mentioned it, Jongdae can see how this area fits the map he’d instructed Baekhyun from. How surreal it is to see it in person now, after picturing different scenarios over and over in this very same place to explain the Runner’s disappearance.

 

“ _Be on alert,_ ” Minseok continues. “ _The winds have shifted, so you’re upwind from what’s left of that horde._ ”

 

“I’ll try not to stay in one place for too long, thanks. Time to do some digging.”

 

_“Let me know if you find anything_.”

 

Jongdae carefully lowers himself down on the other side of the ridge until his feet are touching solid ground. His first few steps after that are hesitant, but when he doesn’t get any static in his ear, he walks forward with more confidence.

 

The ruined base he’d seen on the map is just ahead, but Jongdae heads instead toward the broken satellites. As crazy as it still seems to him that they’d be operational in this state, he knows there was _some_ sort of communications failure before. And where else better to look for the source of interference than at a satellite?

 

Jongdae’s about fifty feet from the base of the first tower when the static starts. Instinct makes him wince before he collects himself and takes a few big steps backward.

 

“Minseok, can you still hear me?”

 

“ _━coming in kind of fuzzy, but now I can at least━_ ”

 

The static returns, continuing this time even when Jongdae paces in every direction. This doesn’t make sense; any sort of interference bubble should be constant, at least in this short of a time frame. Still, he does his best to swallow down his frustration and adjust a few dials on his earpiece, tapping it to try and kickstart a connection.

 

In fact, Jongdae’s so focused on getting it fixed that he doesn’t notice he’s been snuck up on until a low groan sounds from just over his shoulder. He has just enough time to draw his gun and fire instead of becoming some lone zombie’s late afternoon snack.

 

Except…’lone’ isn’t the right word here at all. Jongdae suddenly feels very, very exposed.

 

“Minseok, _please_ tell me you’re there. I found the horde, and they don’t look too happy to see me.”

 

“ _━can barely━ SKZZZZ ━ that many zoms, then ━ SKZZZZ ━ and run!_ ”

 

Even with the static, Jongdae reads that command loud and clear. He pivots in the exact opposite direction from the growing horde and runs for his life. Broken fences, crumbling walls, and rusted street signs flash by him in a blur. He doesn’t know where he’s headed, but that’s okay. He can retrace his path. He headed...south? Then made a left, a right, a...another right? If he could just remember!

 

“ _━might be getting a better connection. You there?_ ”

 

“I’m here! You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice.”

 

“ _Christ, Dae, I thought you were really gone. The horde still on your tail?_ ”

 

“Seems like I might have lost them for now, but I’m going to keep running as long as my legs will let me. I never want to see that many zombies again.”

 

“ _Luckily, you’ve got me here to be your other set of eyes. Let’s try another approach to see if we can avoid the dead spot. It should be━_ **_”_ **

 

Jongdae doesn’t find out what direction Minseok meant to give him, because his foot chooses that moment to step halfway into a fissure in the road. He hits the ground with a yelp, head slamming against blacktop. A shrill ringing sound accompanies the sudden throbbing pain that blooms in the spot that hit.

 

The silver lining is that there’s no blood, only internal damage Jongdae’s sure he needs to get checked out at Medical. Then there’s the shattered pieces of his earpiece that lay strewn around the point of impact. No amount of turning dials is going to fix things this time.

 

_Breathe, Jongdae. Assess the situation like a Runner._

 

Problem: he knows Polaris’s mapped area well enough when he’s looking at a digital display, but having never actually been out here, he has no idea where he is. Goal: he needs to make it back to the military base and find the Runners or any trace of where they went. Uncontrollable factors: the horde might still pursue him if he gets any closer. Plan of action...it seems like the only thing he can do is start looking. Jongdae takes a swig of water from the bottle in his pack and gets to work.

 

The remainder of the day, unfortunately, seems to slip through Jongdae’s fingers far too fast. He’s lucky enough not to be attacked again, only having to adjust his course to avoid the occasional passing zombie, but his luck doesn’t extend to finding a way back to the base. When the light begins to bleed out of the sky, he finds the most intact building in the area, strings a tripwire across the entrance, and curls up in one of its rooms.

 

Moonlight filters in through cracks in the ceiling to reflect off of the pistol by Jongdae’s head. Four bullets left, assuming Chanyeol counted correctly. If something or someone hurt one of the Runners, Jongdae plans on saving every last bullet he can to give that something a world of pain.

 

But such violent thoughts shouldn’t be the last before he closes his eyes. Jongdae reaches again for his pack and slips a hand into the interior pocket, withdrawing a familiar gold pendant. He traces the faded lettering, watching the moonlight reflect instead off of this object meant to bring him comfort. In a way, it makes him feel safer than the pistol ever could.

 

This will all be worth it, if he can bring him back ━ both of them. Jongdae drifts off with a whispered wish on his lips.

 

☢

 

When he wakes, the tripwire is still in place. The moonlight has been replaced with the rising sun, and he’s made it through the night in one piece.

 

_You’ve already left them on their own for so long_ , a thought tries to form in Jongdae’s head, but it’s an unnecessary one. He’s doing his absolute best, considering the circumstances. That’s all he can ask of himself.

 

The morning follows the same search-and-avoid-getting-swarmed pattern of yesterday, though Jongdae tries to at least vary his route. Even an amateur attempt at an area sweep is better than wasting time and energy walking in circles. A landmark here and there marks the fuzzy edges of his mental map.

 

By noon, Jongdae’s starting to feel the heat. There are no clouds in the sky today to stop the sun from beating down directly on his sweating body, fluid loss he does his best to replace with his limited water supply. When he happens across an old gas station that still as an awning over its pumps, he sits in the shade and tries to cool himself down. In the meantime, he takes the opportunity to do an inventory check. He still has four bullets (probably), enough water to last him another day or so (maybe), his good-luck pin safely tucked away, and...hang on.

 

Something on the ground gleams in the sunlight a few paces away, catching Jongdae’s eye. He slings his pack over his shoulders and approaches the source of that reflection, feeling something prickle beneath his skin when he sees the interlocking gears. Everything about the trinket says it shouldn’t be here. And every fiber of Jongdae’s being is telling him that it’s something important, something he was meant to find.

 

Something meant for him in the first place.

 

Jongdae pockets the gears and practically sprints to the other end of the gas station, running through collapsed aisles and what must have been the front counter. Sure enough, peeking out over the ruins, no longer hidden by the building’s walls, is the satellite tower he’s been searching for. It seems that this time, Baekhyun had been _his_ anchor.

 

But this changes things. The gas station wasn’t on the route Jongdae had Baekhyun take, which means he’d come here after they’d lost contact ━ and Jongdae _knows_ he had to have passed through. Baekhyun left this behind very intentionally. Hopefully he’s left even more of a trail, one Jongdae can follow straight back to where the Runner has gone.

 

When he finds a discarded watch face just down the road, Jongdae’s heart soars. His pace accelerates on its own, renewed optimism cranking his limbs into overdrive. Part of him wishes he could give Minseok the good news, but part of him enjoys the challenge of doing this on his own, having to rely on his own senses to follow the scattered trail.

 

Six trinkets in, the dropped objects abruptly stop. Jongdae thinks he’s just overlooked the next one until he sees something much more telling: deep grooves in the ground, with some of the dirt thrown up onto the side of the road. It’s not some way to simply mark an ‘X’ at the end of the map; it’s a clear sign of struggle. Baekhyun had fought against being led this way. But to where?

 

Jongdae hovers his fingers above the grooves, tracing over the beginnings of what looks like shoes being drug in the dirt. He holds up his hand in the same direction, squinting, and sees a concrete building directly in his line of sight. Jackpot.

 

The locked front door is made short work of with the lockpick that Jongdae pulls from his pack. He checks one more time that his gun is in its holster, and then he steps over the threshold, quietly closing the door shut behind him.

 

Inside, it’s not pitch black like he expected. The ceiling is lined with dimly glowing bulbs that give enough light for Jongdae to make out where he’s walking. If he’s being entirely honest, though, he’s not sure how to interpret what he’s walking by. The hallway is linked with empty offices, and the storage room it leads to is just filled with random items like━

 

It’s not random at all. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s packs are on the top of a stack in the corner, opened and clearly picked through. If Jongdae looks closer, he can see how the ‘random piles’ are clearly separated stacks of different supplies. Someone has been stocking up for a while.

 

In his once-over of the stash, Jongdae nearly trips over a bundled mass of cords running across the floor. He turns to search for their source, and finds himself staring into a wall full of monitors. There must be twenty different screens lined up next to each other. It almost looks like camera feeds, though the locations don’t seem consistent, and one monitor in particular looks almost familiar…

 

_The base._

 

Linked camera feeds, variable bubbles of interference, satellites, hoarded supplies. There’s something coming together in Jongdae’s head even if he’s not entirely sure what it is yet. But none of it matters when he sees a figure in the bottom left monitor marked ‘Basement’, someone he’d almost let himself believe he’d never see again. His hand hits the ‘Trapdoor Release’ button faster than he can consciously make the choice. A mechanism nearby grinds to life, and Jongdae slips into the building’s bowels.

 

For a moment, it really is pitch black. Then he makes it into the next room and that same dim glow returns. There’s not really a building here, not anymore. It looks like someone had blasted out the rock to make an underground bunker, though if those were old-world explosions or more recent Jongdae can’t say. He ducks under a low-hanging rock into a wider part of the cavern, and what he comes face to face with is something from both a dream a nightmare.

 

“...Jongdae?”

 

Baekhyun is here. He’s alive. But he’s tied to a wooden post, arms and legs shackled together and looking far worse for wear than he ever should. Who would do something like this?

 

“I’m here,” Jongdae tells him, rushing to unlock the chains. “Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?”

 

“We were jumped at the military base, just after I lost contact with you. This maniac attacked us and dragged us here, but...how the hell did you make it here, too? Am I losing my mind?”

 

The restraints on his arms clatter to the ground, and Jongdae squats down to go for the others.

 

“I followed the trail you left. It wasn’t easy, but you didn’t think I’d just leave you here, did you?”

 

Baekhyun half-jumps, half-falls to the ground when the remaining restraints come loose. He looks at Jongdae with a deep sort of awe in his expression, eyes seeming to drink him in.

 

“This is happening. You’re really here,” he says, either to Jongdae or himself.

 

“I’m here.”

 

Jongdae gets no warning before Baekhyun is pulling him in for a searing sort of kiss, one that makes his head spin and the rest of the world fade to an insignificant haze. For a long moment, he allows himself to melt into the heat.

 

And then he’s pulling back, asking “What’s wrong?” because he felt the moment it went straight over the line between passionate and desperate.

 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Baekhyun insists, a bit out of breath. “Just...a few minutes ago, I thought I was a dead man, and I couldn't stop thinking about how I never got to say goodbye. The only thing I wanted was to see you again.”

 

Jongdae takes his hands. “Look at me. I promised I would keep you safe, and now I’m here to keep that promise. We’re getting out. Where’s Kyungsoo?”

 

“Fuck. He took Kyungsoo away about an hour ago. That should have been the first thing I━”

 

“Not your fault. Where would he be now?”

 

“Somewhere further in. But Jongdae...be careful. This man is dangerous.”

 

“He’s been picking off Runners, hasn’t he? Using this as a hub to cut connections to their Operators, stealing their supplies, and taking them back here to torture.”

 

Baekhyun shakes his head. “No, that’s not the end of it. He doesn’t want to torture Runners at all. He wants to turn us into zom food for his little twisted experiment to control them.”

 

He’s a monster. A twisted, misguided little monster. Jongdae isn’t going to let him harm anyone else again. He lets go of Baekhyun’s hands to draw his pistol, turning off the safety.

 

“Bring me to him.”

 

Baekhyun takes a long look at the gun, gives a short nod, and leads the way further into the caves.

 

Fortunately for them, whoever had blasted out the walls had only blasted in one direction. There’s no way to get lost because there’s only one path, meandering in jagged lines to make its way forward. Jongdae keeps his pistol cocked and ready for whatever danger they might encounter.

 

He doesn’t expect the sight they stumble upon at the end of the passage. Baekhyun doesn’t either, if his sharp intake of breath is anything to go by. Kyungsoo is bound and gagged in a makeshift cage, suspended over a deep pit that’s been blasted into the floor. It’s hard to look away from the Runner’s precarious situation, but when he does, Jongdae almost wishes he hadn’t. There’s _zombies_ in that pit. They wander into the sides and each other with hollow, sickly sounds that make his stomach churn.

 

“Shit,” Baekhyun chokes out. Then, to Jongdae’s surprise, he seems to put on a brave face for the sake of the other Runner. “Kyungsoo! We’re here!”

 

Kyungsoo’s head swings toward Baekhyun’s voice, eyes going wide though the rag in his mouth prevents him from speaking.

 

“We’re going to get you down from there!” Jongdae calls. “Just hang on!”

 

Kyungsoo’s nod is more than a little frantic. That’s no fault of his; Jongdae can only imagine what it would be like to be trapped so close to death, positive no one was coming for you. Both Runners have handled themselves well under the pressure.

 

“Baekhyun, check that the platform up there is stable enough for us to stand on. I’ll keep watch.”

 

“On it.”

 

Baekhyun takes a few steps forward, but then he stops, peering curiously up at Kyungsoo. The other Runner has started to struggle, bound limbs jerking sharply as he tries to get free. It’s a strange time to get impatient when his rescue has finally arrived. Something’s not quite right here.

 

At the same moment he has that thought, Baekhyun whips around to look somewhere near the entrance.

 

“Jongdae, behind you!”

 

Jongdae’s finger is on the trigger in an instant. He steps in front of Baekhyun as he turns, and finishes just in time to see a pair of manic eyes stepping out of the shadows. Here stands the monster he vowed to never let hurt anyone else. There’s a gun in this man’s hands, too, but Jongdae will be damned if he lets anyone lay even a finger on his friends.

 

“Why are you doing this?” he demands. If he can get the man talking, have him let his guard down for even a moment…

 

A dry wheeze leaves the man’s mouth in place of words. It’s a hoarse noise that sounds like nails on granite, tumbling in a wild dance toward unhinged laughter. Still, even with his shoulders shaking with the effort, the man’s gun doesn’t budge.

 

“He’s crazy,” Baekhyun mutters near Jongdae’s ear. He sounds terrified. Jongdae probably should be, too, but right now it’s hard to feel anything beyond anger and adrenaline.

 

That terrible laughter abruptly stops at the sound of Baekhyun’s voice. Manic eyes narrow to slits. Almost in slow-motion, Jongdae sees the gun moving to point over his shoulder, toward the person he swore he’d protect.

 

Jongdae doesn’t hesitate. He side-steps and pulls the trigger.

 

Somewhere in front of him, he sees a flash. A sharp pain blooms in his chest. He hears the faint sound of Baekhyun brokenly screaming his name.

 

_I did it_ , he thinks to himself. _I saved them_.

 

And then his world fades to black.

 

☢

 

Jongdae had never given much thought to the afterlife. He was of the belief that spending too much time thinking about the end would spoil everything along the way. But he certainly hadn’t pictured it would be this dark, that it would make his head feel like it was slogging through mud.

 

Still, it’s peaceful. If this is eternity, it could be worse. If he concentrates, he can almost see a sliver of light in the distance, growing steadily brighter the more he tries to open his eyes. And are those voices starting to filter into his ears? If he didn't know better, he’d say that was━

 

“Baekhyun, I know you care a lot about him, but you still need to eat.”

 

“I’ll eat once he’s awake. I told him I wasn’t going anywhere.”

 

Oh. _Oh._

 

Jongdae’s not dead, after all. He lets relief sink into his bones for a long moment, taking stock of his body limb by limb. There’s skin by his ribs that’s stretched too tight, tender even without being touched, but he’s in on piece. He’s just about to announce the good news to the others when he hears Minseok say, “He really can’t stop talking about you, you know.”

 

“Really?” Jongdae doesn’t have to see Baekhyun’s smile to know it’s there. “And what does he say?”

 

“Mostly for me to mind my own business when I tease him about it. I won’t embarrass him too much, but you make him really happy. I hope you know that.”

 

“I do, because I feel the same way.”

 

“Good.” Minseok hesitates. “I’ll admit, I didn’t like this at first. I couldn’t stand the thought of him getting hurt. But after seeing how good you are for him, I’ll be the first to admit I was wrong. Just don’t make me give the protective best friend speech, yeah?”

 

Baekhyun doesn’t sound fazed in the slightest. “I get it. You’re contractually obligated to kick my ass if I ever break his heart.”

 

“And don’t you forget it,” Jongdae chimes in, finally opening his eyes.

 

He’s not sure who jumps higher, Minseok or Baekhyun. They’re both at his side in an instant, talking over each other in a flurry of “Jongdae” and “Are you okay?” and “I was so worried!”.

 

“How are you feeling?” Minseok’s question finally rises above the clamor. He sits on the edge of what Jongdae now sees is his hospital bed, Baekhyun pulling up a chair to be close as well.

 

How _is_ he feeling? Relieved, mostly. A little confused. Physically, like he fought a large bear and lost.

 

“Not dead,” he settles on, which draws out just the smile he wanted from the other two. “But...what happened? Is Kyungsoo━?”

 

“He’s fine,” Baekhyun reassures him with a brief glance at the monitor by Jongdae’s head. “After you and the lunatic shot each other, I used your shirt to help stop the bleeding and rescued Kyungsoo from the cage. We found Kyungsoo’s earpiece with all those other supplies, carried you out of the dead spot, and called Minseok for help.”

 

“I had both sets of headphones on all day just in case I heard from anyone,” Minseok continues. “The minute you went offline, Jongdae, I told Command what happened, but their search party must not have found you. When Baekhyun called, Junmyeon sent orders for the team to converge at his tracker and bring all of you back. Kyungsoo is in the next room getting treated for minor injuries, but Baekhyun━”

 

“Is quite the stubborn bastard,” Baekhyun finishes for him. “I had to see this through.”

 

“Thank you,” Jongdae tells him earnestly.

 

Baekhyun reaches out to take his hand, holding it tightly. Any tension left in Jongdae’s body bleeds out at the contact. He’s okay. They’re okay.

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you more, Jongdae,” Minseok apologizes. “Feeling like I left you alone out there was the worst feeling in the world.”

 

“You did more than enough. If it wasn’t for you, I couldn’t have gone after them in the first place. And even then, I would have been more hopelessly lost than I already was.”

 

“Should I be worried about you wanting to switch jobs with me?” Baekhyun asks with a grin, eyes never leaving Jongdae’s face.

 

“Somehow, I think you’re safe. No one should have to run that much in their _life_.”

 

Baekhyun smile grows wider. His thumb traces circles into Jongdae’s hand, and Jongdae almost thinks he’s overanalyzing the tender look in the other man’s eyes until Minseok gets up with a pointed, “I’ll give you two some privacy.”

 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Jongdae asks. He forgoes Baekhyun’s hold to stretch his arms out wide, and Minseok shakes his head before he leans into the embrace.

 

“Love you,” Jongdae murmurs into his shoulder.

 

“Same to you, you crazy little knight in shining armor.”

 

Minseok leaves with one last nod in Baekhyun’s direction. The air suddenly seems a lot heavier, but it’s not a bad thing. Just a feeling of so much that could be said, so much that doesn’t even need words. Jongdae doesn’t know where to start. He’s glad that Baekhyun does it for the both of them, re-taking Jongdae’s hand.

 

“I thought you were supposed to be the one worried about _me_ ,” he says, expression faltering. “Watching you bleed out in front me while I waited for help to come was...really awful. Even back in the caves, thinking I’d already seen you for the last time…”

 

“Hey, it’s over now,” Jongdae reassures him. “And you know what the best part is? We made it through this because we had each other. This thing between us, whatever you want to call it, isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength.”

 

Normally, he’d be far too embarrassed to say the thought out loud. But something about near-death experiences puts things like embarrassment in perspective.

 

“You make confessions look so easy. I can’t get out even half of what I’d like to say to you.”

 

“It’s not that it’s easy for me to say. I just trust you to listen. It goes both ways; I’m not going to laugh at you when you’re being serious.”

 

“Okay...okay.” Baekhyun takes a deep breath, his grip on Jongdae’s hand tightening. “So I really, really like you, Jongdae. Using the L-word still feels awkward to me, but, you know...maybe. And even if we die tomorrow, I’d be happy as long as I got to spend every minute in between with you.”

 

“Don’t think like that,” Jongdae tells him softly. “I appreciate you being honest, but don’t think of our time together as something to cling to before it all ends. Let’s just take it slow, enjoy what we have right here and now.”

 

He knows he’s not imagining the tenderness in Baekhyun’s eyes this time. A special kind of warmth rests there, making Jongdae buzz from his head to the tips of his toes. How lucky he is that he gets to be on the receiving end of such unguarded affection.

 

“Ever the optimist,” Baekhyun finally breaks the silence with.

 

“Let’s see if it’ll rub off on you.”

 

Something playful has crept into his voice, something that draws Baekhyun out of his seat and right into Jongdae’s arms. When Jongdae pulls him down those final few inches, lacing their fingers together, he can feel Baekhyun’s hands shake. He squeezes harder and kisses him deeper until the shaking stops.

 

There won’t be any fear here. There won’t be any room for doubt. Just two souls opening themselves completely to let in all the joy and wide-eyed wonder the world has to offer them.

 

They can’t fall when they’ve given each other wings.

 

☢

 

**One Week Later**

 

“ _All I’m saying is I can’t believe they gave me four days out of commission last time, and then they give you an entire week. What kind of favoritism is this?_ ”

 

“Baek, I’m pretty sure the time off was for both of us to rest. And not to play the ‘I got shot’ card, but...I did get shot.”

 

An offended huff comes over the line. “ _Please. I know from previous experience that you have excellent stamina, which means you’re either losing your edge or you’re just lazy_.”

 

“Is that right? Maybe you should come over tonight and tell me exactly what edge I’ve lost.”

 

Jongdae can see Minseok not-so-subtly holding back a snicker, one headphone a bit too high to be on properly. Traitor.

 

“ _Are you propositioning me during work hours? How scandalous. Wait, what was that?_ ”

 

A pause on the other side of the line.

 

“Everything okay?”

 

“ _Depends on who you ask. Kyungsoo just finished begging Minseok to split us up into separate routes_.”

 

Jongdae really can’t help the sound that escapes his lips before he can put himself on mute. He’s missed this ━ the banter, the teamwork, the excitement despite the routine. It’s good to be back to normal.

 

“ _Oh, but also? There’s definitely zoms on approach. I count...six, and like, three quarters. Wow, she has seen better days_.”

 

Who would’ve thought zombies would make Jongdae feel nostalgic? Now it really feels like he’s back.

 

“You’re still by the old clock tower, aren’t you?”

 

“ _It’s right behind me. The top looks ready to collapse, but the scaffolding up the sides is mostly in good shape._ ”

 

“And you’ve got those new explosive charges of Chanyeol’s handy?”

 

“ _Yeah, in my...hold on,_ please _tell me I’m following where you’re going with this._ ”

 

“Call it a welcome back present. But first, one more important check: do you trust me?”

 

Baekhyun laughs, hearty and full, and Jongdae feels something in his chest click into place. It’s the unrestrained delight in that sound that makes his heart beat faster, the complete lack of hesitation that puts him over the edge. Even filtered through wires and space, he feels the word more than hears it.

 

“ _Always_.”

 

  


 


End file.
